Nervous

Today we took you to see your doctor to check on a little raw spot near your diaper that we just can't get you to shake.  It just keeps coming back.

The solution for that is pretty simple.  We need to boost the antifungal cream we've been using with some prescribed hydrocortisone cream. Not hard.

Your Doctor, who is very thorough and cautious also checked your size, and a few other things.  The fact is you remain behind what we'd expect for your age.  You don't have many real words (you use mamama for me, and mom, and lots of other things) and you're not really walking and you don't stack blocks and the bones of your skull haven't yet fused.  We've been keeping an eye on this for a while, and have watched your growth relative to your growth curve.  You've been close to it, but still below the chart line, and the time has come to do some blood tests. 

I'm pretty nervous. 

1. I don't want you to get poked with a needle.  It's what's best for you, but I hate to think about it.
2. I'm afraid they'll find something.  I'm afraid we'll have missed it and I'm afraid you'll suffer some long term setback as a result.  I'm terrified we'll have hurt your long term potential in your first year.
3. I'm afraid they'll find nothing.  I won't know what to make of it.  Why are you so little?

It all comes from love.  I love you so much and want you to have the best life possible, and I don't want to see any difficulties like this in your path.  Whatever we find out, I'll do my best to give you every chance to be your best possible self.  You're such sunshine to us.

I don't know what to hope for right now. I suppose something definite, benign, and curable?

Your daddy loves you.