Kindest soul

Today, you impressed me, taught me lessons, and re-assured me when i needed it.  You're an amazing child.

We had to do another blood draw for you today, as we saw a developmental specialist, to see if there's anything behind your slowness to speak.  We're going to rule out genetic causes. 

You were your usual sweet self in the hospital, and in line, waving to everyone.  You charmed everybody. You really reach out to people, and pull the out of their isolated selves, and make contact and wave to them.  It's inspiring.  You give people unconditional love and acceptance.  You're 17 months old.  You brighten lives.

As soon as I had to hold you for the blood draw, you understandably started to cry.  I feel so bad for you when this happens, and it's hard because we can't use words to explain anything to you, and even then, frankly, it wouldn't hep much, because a needle stick is a big scary thing to a child.  You cried and cried as we did the draw.  I almost cried.  When it was over, I cuddled you as best I could.  I took you out of the lab while mom got directions on the next step in our tests for you (Hint: ask me about how they get a urine sample from someone still in diapers).

Once I got you to the hallway, you calmed down. We passed a woman asking if it was you who'd been crying, and I said yes.  And then you waved to her with your little open close open close hand wave.  You had just had a very traumatic experience, but instead of feeling bad for yourself, you wanted to reach out to other people and connect with them. It was an amazing lesson in how not to be self centered, but to think of others and be compassionate.  You kept it up, waving to everyone in the lobby, and even to the lab tech that took your blood. You spread love and joy.

But your mom and I are back to being nervous about your development. And like a champion, tonight you were so much fun.  You laughed and laughed at so many things.  You imitated me doing many things.  You tried to put a spoon in my mouth, then mom's.  You thought it was hilarious to try to put one of the cat's balls in my mouth, and when I made a sour face and shook my head "no" you just laughed and tried harder.  You crawled after cats in the front yard, and picked flowers. You played in the electric car pressing buttons, picking up a box of tissues, pulling out a tissue (you tried to pull out all of them, but I stopped you), and pretending to blow your nose, because that's what you do with tissues, you know?  All of these things together showed me that you're a deeply emotionally connected person, and you're thinking about things,and understand how the world works. It makes me worry less about your delays, makes me hopeful that you're on your own schedule and will just catch up when you're ready.  You gave me great little hugs, too.  I needed that today, to believe it's al going to be just fine, and that you're OK.

Daddy loves you.

I hope it's always true

I told your mom how happy I am that when you're upset about something, I can comfort you with a hug and a cuddle.

Your mom said, "Yes, and he does the same for you." 

So true.  When you come to me and give me a hug or a snuggle, everything in the world is perfect.

I'm having a lot of fun trying to help you learn to walk now.  You just smile and smile, like you're doing some kind of trick when you walk holding my hands.  Your steps are stompy,and then sometimes you get excited and just stamp your feet in place very fast before proceeding to make forward progress. It's adorable.